How to deal with Disappointment (during the holidays and always)

wieght of the world

Sometimes the holidays disappoint us.  Many people find themselves with more, or less company than they anticipated, and others feel sad or frustrated with the lack of perfection.  When we burn the main course, our teenagers leave the table angry, or our favorite uncle gets too drunk (again!), we often say this:

“I am disappointed IN you.” (or even worse, in me)

Yesterday it occurred to me that when I say this sentence, I am absolutely right.

I have been kicked out, dis-appointed as the person in charge of the actions of my dis-appointing person or event; in fact, I have usually been dis-appointed as the one in charge of anything!

Next time someone says, “I am disappointed in you,” you might want to respond, kindly:

“Yes,  that is right, you have been dis-appointed.  Get out of my head, and away from my heart.  You are not in control of me. I am dis-appointing myself as well, and putting my trust into the vast resources of my subconscious mind, my concept of a higher power,  and our collective forces for good.

It is upsetting to be unceremoniously removed as the king or queen of the universe, but if we can relax and even laugh about our dis-appointments, grace will reel herself back into our lives, where she will re-appoint us as the directors of our internal experience.

We can be the kings and queens of our reactions; we can lord over a vast internal landscape, command our thoughts to change, and encourage our feelings to keep marching on, while we smile, breathe and forgive.

Dis-appoint yourself as the commander-in-chief of life, and your loved ones,  today.    Accept your dream position as the supreme ruler of your internal experience, and get used to the idea that you are in charge of the inside of you, and only you, from now until forever.

Be careful.  When the weight of that world falls off your shoulders, you might have to be ready to fly.

Thank you so much for reading my post.



“I am mad that you are not doing it my way. I am unhappy because things are not turning out the way I wanted them to-that’s what disappointment really means-it’s just anger, covering up this fear of losing control of other people and things that we were never in charge of anyway. It’s funny, isn’t it?”

– Venerable Bhante Sujatha




No comments yet.

Thank you for reading!

%d bloggers like this: